


An Unbecoming Trait

by thevalesofanduin



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-26 05:58:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3839689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thevalesofanduin/pseuds/thevalesofanduin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She always thought jealousy was a thing of dwarves.</p><p>A quite unbecoming trait that could make any dwarf go from charming and polite to possessive and overly-rude.</p><p>It perhaps shows her foolishness that just because she hasn't felt it before herself, she cannot be struck by it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Unbecoming Trait

**Author's Note:**

> For a prompt on Tumblr asking for Figrid jealousy. And because it's usually the dwarves being jealous, I thought I'd turn it around!
> 
> Enjoy everyone!
> 
>  
> 
> [Photoset on Tumblr](http://thevalesofanduin.tumblr.com/post/117628632265/she-always-thought-jealousy-was-a-thing-of)

She always thought jealousy was a thing of dwarves.

A quite unbecoming trait that could make any dwarf go from charming and polite to possessive and overly-rude.

It perhaps shows her foolishness - age, Fili would most likely joke and then Sigrid would try and hide the sting - that just because she hasn't felt it before herself, she cannot be struck by it.

It’s the love she feels, she knows. After all, she’s been told that love does strange things to a person. But before, she thought a distraction when the one that caught her attraction was around and just a general warm feeling spreading through her body whenever their fingers would so little as brush were the only things.  
In her opinion, it would have been preferable if it had stayed that way.

She doesn't like this ugly feeling, hates that she wants to glare at the pretty dwarrowdams talking to Fili and she feels weak and dependant when she detests the mere idea of him leaving her for another.

_As if you are actually what one would call together. He's not even courting you._

Sigrid clenches a hand around the mug she is holding. The jealousy has not come by it lonesome self.  
Instead, it has come with an insecurity she's never felt before, a constant wonder in the back of her mind whether or not she's good enough.

Before, in a village perched on stinking water, she'd never been insecure. There simply hadn't been a need and when there’s hardly any girls your age there’s not much to be jealous about. Especially not when all boys reek like fish and they either can’t get out a sentence without stuttering or can’t keep their fingers to themselves. Human lads, Sigrid decided a long time ago, are not for her.

Dwarves, apparently, are.

Yet she hardly fits in.

 

Dwarrowdams, especially the ones around Fili, they giggle and laugh. They wear so much jewelry that they jingle when they move and they drink more just that night than Sigrid can manage in a month.

They are perfect ladies, polite and suave with words, while possessing an overall hardness and crudeness only dwarves possess. The perfect dwarrowdam, Sigrid thinks with envy.

Not for the first time that evening, she wishes she could sneak up to these ladies in their sleep and cut off the beards Fili so courteously compliments.

She hates the resentful thought and with an annoyed sigh takes another small sip of her quite strong ale.

As she does so, she catches Fili’s eyes.

He grins at her, moustache braids going up with the edge of his lips, and after turning to chat to the dwarrowdam’s for a moment he starts walking towards Sigrid.

Sigrid’s heart skips a beat, hope rising when he so confidently strides over to her. 

 

"Lady Sigrid." Fili greets with a charming smile, a deep bow and a familiar affection in his eyes.

Sigrid can't help but smile as she curtseys to the dwarf that has become her friend and now even managed to catch her heart. For a moment, when his eyes are on her and her alone, she dares hope her affections are returned.

But, almost like she's drawn to it, she lets her eyes drift across the room. Or more specifically, over Fili's shoulder. There, she is met with frowns and glares of the group of dwarrowdams Fili just left behind. A jealousy so openly displayed it makes Sigrid shiver and it wipes the joyful smile from her face in an instant. "Your lady admirers don't seem to happy to have lost you to me." She mutters, eyes on Fili and a sting in her heart.

Fili shakes his head with a snort before flashing Sigrid a bright smile. "They can wait."

Sigrid wants to be happy, smile in return and feel flattered. But she can't. The jealousy is eating at her like weeds in a garden and it will keep going until there's nothing left. "Do be careful though, they might think you like me."

"Sigrid?" Fili frowns at the biting tone, the ice in Sigrid's eyes and her arms crossed defensively in front of her chest.

Sigrid tilts her head a bit, looking down at Fili with a hardness she never knew she could actually feel. "With all the attention you have been giving them, I wouldn't be surprised if at least two of them feel like you wish to marry them."

Fili’s eyes widen. "Sigrid, are you jealous?"

Well, of course the dwarf would notice. She finds herself thinking. Of course he would see straight away where the root of her behavior lays.

_And for what? He’s not even yours._

She draws in a shaky breath and shakes her head. "Why should I be? I cannot call you mine so there should not be any reason to be. You are free to compliment any dwarrowdam's beard if you wish to do so. I, after all, do not have any sort of beard worth complimenting." If her voice wavers slightly, well she can only hope that Fili doesn’t notice.

Fili frowns and reaches out a hand, threading his fingers through a strand of her hair. "You don't need one. Your hair is the color of sundown with rays of amber and gold." It’s a testament to his charming personality he can speak such complimentary words without a thought and for a moment, Sigrid thinks thusly must be true.

But they do nothing to calm the storm of jealousy and insecurity within her. "That might very well be, but fact remains I am no dwarf."

"Sigrd, what has fallen over you? When did I ever say I wished you were a dwarf?” Fili asks with a frown and shakes his head. “Don't be a fool!"

 _Don’t be a fool._ The words hurt more than she could’ve ever imagined. For he might not have ever said he wished for her to be a dwarf, but it’s them who he has been talking with all night, surrounding himself with stout, bearded ladies rather than seeking her company. Only now that the night is almost over he makes some time to talk to her and then he calls _her_ the fool!

"I am, as you always say, quite young. Perhaps the foolishness of my youth hasn't worn off yet." She snaps, a coldness in her voice and a fierceness in her eyes.

She’s getting angry.

Fili’s eyes are wide and he wants to say something, opening his mouth but then apparently decides against it.

For a moment Sigrid wonders why, but then she notices.

Around them, talks have quieted down and she feels at least a dozen pairs of eyes watching them.

She takes a breath, attempting to calm herself down. It won’t do to get angry here. 

"Perhaps today is not a good day for us to talk." She fakes a smile and curtseys. “Have a nice night, prince Fili.”

Fili’s desperate expression when she walks away should have made her feel happy, but it only makes her feel worse.

Plunging the knife in her chest deeper and deeper while she knows she has no-one to blame but herself.

\---

The next morning, Sigrid finds herself on one of the few balconies of Erebor.

After last night, she wishes she is back in Dale where she can bury herself in her duties and forget about this – forget the jealousy, her insecurities, _Fili_. But she is her father’s heir, the Lady of Dale, and as he remains here for meetings with the King of Erebor and his heir, she does as well.

She is, if anything, a dutiful daughter.

She thought, coming out here, that the fresh air would do her well. But as she watches Dale – rebuilt, but far from a prosperous city – she finds it was a bad idea.

She is only reminded of the fact that Dale and Erebor are so different. 

Because where Dale is struggling, Erebor is glorious. Dale is a city of refugees, people who have lost their home and are trying to pick up the pieces of their lost lives – even after two years, even though Dale is so much better of a home than Laketown.

Erebor, however, is a Kingdom. A long lost home that is happy to see its people returning. Prosperous even after two years because of its wealth and relations with other dwarven kingdoms. And with the mountain restored, Erebor possesses a grandeur she will never fit into with her lanky limbs, her lack of beard and lack of royal upbringing.

 

“Sigrid.”  
She startles, panics because she knows that deep rumble of a voice. Before it set a fire to her body she hadn’t felt before – especially when he’d lean close and whisper in her ear – but now she’d rather not hear it. But yet she can’t ignore him and she tries not to feel too much of anything as she turns to him.

“Fili.” She nods her head in a polite gesture and thinks perhaps, after last night, she should have called him by his title. 

When she sees him, she still feels as she normally does. Warm, nervous and her heart skipping a beat. But she’s also nervous, insecure and she doesn’t like it.

He is, too, however and when he catches her eyes his smile is almost cautious. “They said I could find you here.”

Sigrid resists the urge to frown. She doesn’t know who _they_ is, but she feels betrayed nonetheless. It is relatively early morning and considering last night was merry, late and for most inhabitants of Erebor drunk, the fact she is up and about at this time should have indicated she wanted her privacy.

But then there is still a spark of hope. Because despite the amount of alcohol he’d assumed the night before Fili has still taken this opportunity to come talk to her.

It could, however, also mean he wants to put her in her place, kindly and privately.

“Yes, I felt like some air when I woke this morn.” She says, a bit offhandedly with a shrug. 

“Are you feeling all right?” He asks, giving her a worried once-over.

Sigrid raises an eyebrow and albeit the situation she can’t help but laugh. “I am not by any means experiencing any effects from last night’s ale, if that is what you are asking. I know I can never in my life manage to drink as much as you dwarves so I know not to keep up with you.” She huffs, a small smile on her lips at her own joke.

But Fili doesn’t get it. Doesn’t hear the joke. Instead, his face falls and he lowers his eyes to the ground. “Sigrid, I… about last night,” he starts but falters, hesitates, wringing his hands together.

Sigrid, however, doesn’t hesitate. She knows she has to apologize, that she has to do something to not ruin this thing that’s been going on between them. “I’m sorry.” She blurts and when Fili’s eyes snap up to her, wide and surprised, she can’t help but lower her own eyes. It’s going to hurt. She knows it will, like admitting you’re wrong about something always hurts. But it’s only her ego that will be dented and truthfully, that is infinitely better than getting her heart hurt in any way. “You were right. I was jealous. And…” Insecure, she thinks but she doesn’t say. “I shouldn’t have reacted in such a childish way.” She finishes softly and raises her eyes to watch Fili’s reaction.

Fili, when she sees him, is looking at her with tenderness in his eyes and his lips are curled up into a relieved smile.

The smile surprises Sigrid and she wonders why _he_ is the relieved one.

That is until he crosses the distance from the door to the edge of the balcony where she is standing and awkwardly takes her small, thin hand in his that fits hers twice. "Perhaps I wanted you to be jealous." He admits softly.

“What?” Sigrid gasps and she tightens her hand in his, wide eyes and a small flush rising on her cheeks.

Fili smiles affectionately and strokes his thumb over her wrist. "As you well know jealousy is a common trait in dwarves. But you must realize, it is only things we love that can create such strong feelings of possessiveness and hatred in us. And I needed to be sure..."

"Sure of what?" Sigrid asks, but her voice is a bare whisper.

Fili swallows and takes a few seconds before he answers her question. “Last night you said you couldn’t call me mine and I just wanted to know for certain you would answer positively if I offered you this,” he pulls a small, mahogany box from one of his pockets and as he holds it out for her to take, adds: “and asked you if I could actually call you mine.”

For a moment, Sigrid’s life stands still. She feels as if she can’t breathe, as if her heart’s stopped beating before she takes the box from Fili with shaking hands. “Fili…” she murmurs, speechless for all other words as her heart is about to burst and she desperately wonders if he’s offering what she thinks he is…

“You can call me yours, too, of course!” Fili hastily adds and then raises both his hands, clasping them around hers so they’re holding the beautifully crafted box together. “But you’d do me a great honor if you would let me court you, my beautiful, perfect Lady of Dale.”

“I…” She starts but has to pauses as she laughs while she feels butterflies in her stomach that seem to set off a hurricane of warmth that spreads through her body. As she cries “yes” there are tears in her eyes and she feels so happy, so relieved.

Fili wants to court _her_. He thinks she’s worthy of him, his love and of, ultimately, someday becoming queen of Erebor.

Fili thinks she’s perfect.

And with just the two of them on the balcony, his courting-gift in her hands and him looking up at her with a besotted grin, she believes him.

 

They sit down on a bench on the balcony and Sigrid sits so close to Fili their sides and knees brush – she’s not sure about the rules in dwarf courting, but Fili’s intake of breath makes it quite clear this might actually be a bit forward. Well, she thinks, this is going to be fun then.

“Open it,” Fili suggests, nodding his head to the box in Sigrid’s lap.

Sigrid chuckles at the other’s impatience and strokes a finger over the carved flower decoration of the box. It’s so detailed and delicate and she can only imagine the amount of time that’s gone into making it.

She feels so special, knowing that Fili invested so much time in the gift – or rather, the box her gift is in!

Carefully, she opens the lid and when she sees the two hairclips nestled in there she can’t help but gasp.

“Fili,” she whispers and takes in the two metal clips, inlayed with different green jewels that are stunning but modest. They are nothing like the extravagant jewelry a dwarrowdam would wear. Instead of being big and bold the hairclips Fili made her are small, they show off craftsmanship but not as a bold statement but with their simple beauty. “They’re gorgeous.” 

“So you like them?” Fili sounds nervous and looks up at Sigrid with a hesitant smile.

“Yes, of course!” She nods and turns to look at Fili, reaching out to place one of her hands on top of his with an adoring smile. “They’re perfect.” She breathes and the offers him the box. “Do you want to put them in?”

She knows what she’s offering. Or at least, she knows how important this is to Fili and she wants that. Wants to return some of the love to him he’s just given her.

Fili’s reaction is immediate with a gasp. His eyes widen and for a moment he looks like he’s about to kiss her. “Yes.” He says, his voice hoarse and soft as he takes the box from her carefully. “Yes, I’d be honored.”

He takes one out of the box and without a moment of thought or hesitation he brushes a strand of her hair back, clipping the hairclip in place with a soft, gentle smile. “I’ve dreamt of putting one right here. It looks as stunning on you as I’d imagined.”

There are so many things Sigrid wishes to say, wants to ask. Because hearing those words, she can only imagine this is something Fili has been thinking about for a while.

But, she decides, she can ask later. So instead, she closes her eyes with a small blush on her cheeks and enjoys Fili’s fingers in her hair as he puts in the second hairclip.

 

“You’ll have to teach me about your ways of courting.” She wonders aloud a few minutes later.

Fili laughs. “You don’t have to,” he shakes his head and gives her a pointed look. “We can do this your way.”

Now, it is Sigrid’s turn to laugh and shake her head. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Our ways of courting are hardly fit for royalty.” She jokes and it is funny. Because the ways of Laketown left much to be desired and although she’s from Dale now, her people’s ways haven’t changed. And doing it her way, the Human way, it just won’t do. It’s too plain and simple, she thinks with a soft sigh. “While I don’t like saying it, considering who we are we should do this properly.”

“You’re right.” Fili says with a soft sigh. They both know that as heirs, they are in the public eye all the time. And while their courtship will do both cities good, there will also be a lot of upsets left because of it, many ladies – and perhaps lords – disappointed. They can’t afford to not do this the right way. “Although I would like to know about your ways of courting.” Fili grins, nudging her in her side with his elbow.

Sigrid chuckles. “Someday.” She says and leans against Fili with a happy sigh. 

For a moment, Fili freezes a bit awkwardly but it only takes a few seconds for him to relax into her weight against him. He even places a hand over her knee and Sigrid can’t help but grin.

They sit side by side for a few minutes before Sigrid suddenly says: “Promise me something, though.” 

“What?” Fili asks, his voice slightly guarded.

Sigrid closes her eyes for a second before sighing and reaching out to squeeze Fili’s hand on her knee. “Don’t ever make me feel jealous again.”

Fili laughs, but it’s soft and affectionate and he turns his hand around on her knee so he can take hers in his thick fingers, lifting it to his lips. As he brushes a slow, tender kiss against the top of her hand he murmurs: “I promise.”

Sigrid, albeit herself, lets out a relieved smile. “Good,” she whispers and they settle in silence again, basking in the joy of each other’s company as Erebor wakes up around them.


End file.
